The Umm Monologues

The Vagina Monologues, to be precise.

After a long time of reading about the popular play by Eve Ensler and its various adaptations, I finally decided to watch the movie, by the same name. It was out of plain curiosity. I had recently read somewhere that the play's Indian adaptation by Mahabano Mody Kotwal recently completed 10 years and it had always been controversial, I just wanted to see what the fuss is all about.

What followed, were 77 minutes of candid, witty, funny, deep, intriguing  and sometimes cringe-worthy episodes. Eve narrated with a rare honesty, episodes centered around themes such as love, sex, orgasm, masturbation, birth and sexual violence. The film also had excerpts from interviews conducted by Eve, while researching for the play. 

What is significant is that this came at a time when so much is being said about women's rights, freedoms, role and perception in the society. There is so much of discussion and debate about something I, personally have believed is so obviously fundamental - equal rights, opportunities and freedom for women. Why do we even need to question that? It puzzled me back in middle school when we were taught that a feminist is a person who believes in equal rights for women. Umm, don't we all? What seems apparent, is that we don't. Sometimes subconsciously, blindly following the cultural misinterpretations and at other times, because of our deep rooted set of values that itself is a culmination of a culture that has not only denied an equal status but has devoided half of its population the right to discuss matters that concern them, and are an intricate part of their very existence. 

It is this 'glass ceiling' that the movie breaks. It is also what it makes the film a treat to watch. Never before have I seen someone discuss issues as intimate as one's first menstrual period and one's embarrassment at the sight of the vagina in a way that is poignant and humorous at the same time! The film is largely anecdotal. Some of them can be easily related to, we've all been there and done that! (And for the first time, that little happy squeal which comes from the realization of not being the lone weirdo can be more than just a whisper - because here we have someone who's celebrating it, with panache!).

The other anecdotes - like the one that described experiences of women in Bosnian 'rape camps' left me feeling aghast. 

Eve Ensler needs to be thoroughly applauded. Not only for her awe-inspiring performance in the film, but for the sheer brilliance with which she has managed to compile such profound experiences and brought them to life!

Incidentally, I came across this piece by The Mad Momma. It reminded me of what Eve said in the beginning of the film - 

"I bet you're worried. I was worried. That's why I began this piece. I was worried about vaginas, I was worried what we think of them, and I was even more worried that we don't think of them."

Though I do not agree with all that MM has to say (the disposal-in-newspapers issue can well be attributed to a simple, hygienic approach adopted keeping in mind the shoddy waste disposal system that we have functioning in our cities, and the hush-hush surrounding washing dirty linen is justified to quite an extent by a simple word - 'privacy'. Talking freely about menstruation and the likes is one thing, but that still shouldn't invade the personal space one is entitled to!), I get the point MM is trying to make. I've seen practices unreasonable to the extent of being downright crazy, being employed with such unflinching, unquestioning ease. We still deny women the right to enter temples, or touch anything considered 'holy' for that matter, while they're on their period. From making them eat in specific utensils to making them sleep in separate beds and washing their (even if spotless!) sheets to debarring them from entering the kitchen, even. I get where all this is stemming from. I get that we've been a patriarchal society for centuries and that's probably how such rudimentary practices came into being. But now, out of sheer exasperation, I feel compelled to exclaim - we're in the 21st century, dammit. How long are we going to take to get our basics right?

Also from the MM's post I came across these two posts by Anupama Mohan and Veena Venugopal. 

Anupama Mohan talks of the concept of 'phallogocentrism' -

"It is the idea that our societies are centred by the phallus and language (logos).."

Unfamiliar with the etymological manifestations and their eventual cultural implications, I had a conversation on the lines of the same concept with my friend A a while back.
I'd asked A what one is really implying, while calling oneself  'in favour of equal rights for women but not a feminist'.

A had (very proudly) answered by drawing an analogy. He said that it's akin to someone who frequently uses words like ch*tiya or b*hnchod but still respects women, as is the case with a lot of my friends.

It could also be someone who dances to the tunes of a rap about raping a woman and sings along, but 'in principle' respects women.

I found this explanation fundamentally flawed. I couldn't (and probably still can't) articulate it well enough, but something here is not right. You cannot use such sexist profanities with ease if you really do understand the gravity of the issue at hand. Maybe it doesn't reflect upon much of your attitude towards women in particular, as it does upon your tendency to unthinkingly absorb what is prevalent culturally and inculcate a habit out of it. That trend, in itself, is quite disturbing. And if you're the artist(s) in question, it should 'in principle', prick you conscience. You might not have penned the lyrics, but you did know what you were singing and the mass appeal and influence that you generate. Banning artists can never be a solution but some self-regulation on the part of the artists cannot hurt anyone. What's also important to note here is that it not something subjective, but an established evil - rape.

It also brings me to the question - why do women 'in favor of equal rights for women' suddenly want to distance themselves from the epithet 'feminist'? What is wrong with being one? As a very eloquent friend (another A! A female, this time!) described, feminist by definition refers to someone who believes in equality, not psychopaths looking to establish matriarchy! Why then, is it suddenly out of trend to identify oneself with the cause one's counterparts have been fighting for, for ages? Why are we suddenly feeling that feminism doesn't fit into modern times? Why does it have to be this feminism or that feminism? Why can't feminism as a movement, derive its strength from it's diversity? Like in Eve Ensler's play, we might be different women facing apparently different issues, but the fundamental goal remains the same. I know it's much easier said than done, I know that what I'm saying is probably a gross simplification of an immensely complicated social scenario, but it's still better than passive cynicism, in my humble opinion!

Veena Venugopal, In her article, takes the topic of female desire head-on! (Much like Eve, if I may add!)

As she puts it,

"If I am asking for it, dude, you will know it. ....

 We probably don’t talk about what we desire enough. But we certainly think about it. So this will probably come as a surprise to you. When you proposition us, on the road, in the bus, or at a movie theatre, and we say no, we are not saying that we don’t feel any desire. We are simply saying that it’s not you who we desire."

It's as simple as that! And then they go on ranting about women being complicated! *rolls eyes!*

It's sad how this approach, despite being so simple, has not been comprehended by most fractions of our society. As a result, not only do we deny the existence of such an entity as female desire but end up ridiculing it!
I while ago I was discussing the DPS RK Puram MMS Scandal with a friend of mine. I couldn't help feeling sorry for the girl, not because the MMS went public or her 'modesty was outraged' or anything, but simply because I felt that she was a victim of the society's hypocrisy. Not her folly. A 17-18 year old making out with her boyfriend. What's wrong/new with that? The whole act was supposed to be a private affair and not leak out in the first place.  Instead of rebuking the boyfriend for leaking out the footage, we ended up ridiculing the girl. What a shame! I heard a rumor that she's at Harvard University now! And the self-confessed Amreeka-obsessed freak that I am, if by any freak chance the girl happens to be reading this, all I want to say is - YOU GO, GIRL! KUDOS!

And now that I've realized that I've ended up typing a tediously long post which I don't really want to edit because I strongly feel what I've written, I think it's befitting to end the post by quoting Eve Ensler's closing lines from The Vagina Monologues -

"So, here we go, here we go. Okay, we're done."

Cheers!

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